As Yet Unsorted

Writing to get where I hope to be.


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My Neighborhood, Early Summer


This evening, a glimpse of the sky and clouds from a window about twenty minutes before sunset drew me outside, and prompted me to take a short walk around the neighborhood. It has been something I’ve done sporadically in the six years I’ve owned my house, and something my boyfriend and his dog and I did regularly for a month or two last summer, before life — as it always does — intervened.

Tonight I started out just looking at the clouds, because I find them fascinating, particularly when they are piled high and lit by the setting sun.


  
 But, as gorgeous as they were, things closer to the ground kept catching my eye, and the golden, between-storm light made everything seem a little less ordinary.


Although they’re not nearly so stately, this row of houses made me think of San Francisco’s Painted Ladies, and they definitely perk up their side of Mary Street.


  
This is just a small sampling of the flower boxes, pots, and beds I passed. The bright spots of color add such cheer to the neighborhood (and who doesn’t love a Little Free Library?).


Anyone need an orange wing chair? If I didn’t already have one, I may have gone back and tried to wedge it into my trunk.


LOVE. I obviously hadn’t walked down this block for a while, because the painted knitting swatch wasn’t there before, but caught my eye immediately, and I wished it were mine.


Nice to see they weren’t overselling things. I hope the transfer was successful.


The outdoor space at The Fridge was hopping, and easily half of the people there were as mesmerized by the clouds as I was. I’d have stopped if it had been less crowded, but I was satisfied with continuing my walk, instead.


By the time I got home, the clouds had piled higher, and lightning was beginning to flicker in the distance.

I love my neighborhood, and need to get back in the habit of wandering through it and seeing what there is to see, because there’s always something.


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The Next Chapter

  
My coworker brought me flowers this morning to officially welcome me to the department. Tomorrow I join the staff of the United Way of Lancaster County, where I’ve been temping since April.

The past year didn’t quite go as planned — perhaps because it was lacking a concrete plan — but I don’t regret leaving my old situation and taking time to try to figure out a new one. A new office job wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it appeared before me, and sometimes it makes sense to seize that sort of opportunity.

I feel a certain sense of failure for not making a go of going it alone, but the attempt itself was worthwhile. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have taken that marvelous solo drive to Taos and back, and that was worth the price of admission. 

So wish me well in the world of Resource Development; I have a feeling it’s going to push at the edges of some comfort zones.


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The Next Chapter

My coworker brought me flowers this morning to officially welcome me to the department. Tomorrow I join the staff of the United Way of Lancaster County, where I’ve been temping since April.

The past year didn’t quite go as planned — perhaps because it was lacking a concrete plan — but I don’t regret leaving my old situation and taking time to try to figure out a new one. A new office job wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it appeared before me, and sometimes it makes sense to seize that sort of opportunity.

I feel a certain sense of failure for not making a go of going it alone, but the attempt itself was worthwhile. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have taken that marvelous solo drive to Taos and back, and that was worth the price of admission.

So wish me well in the world of Resource Development; I have a feeling it’s going to push at the edges of some comfort zones.


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Too Much of Everything But Love

I spent too much time Monday night in bed, not sleeping, thinking about what to say, how to say it. I thought about how we’ve all been exposed to too much tragedy and heartbreak. How the grief in Orlando and across the country is almost too much to take.

I’ve heard too much from politicians and pundits and preachers who are trying to erase the hate crime from what happened at Pulse, to make it too much about allegiance to ISIS, and far too little about a targeted attack on the LGBTQ community.

I’ve spent too much time on the verge of (or in) tears listening to the radio, or watching the news — not because the victims and their families and loved ones, and our entire society do not deserve those tears, but because we shouldn’t keep having to hear about senseless tragedies and innocent victims.

I’ve also spent too much time turning the radio off, or avoiding reading things I know will end up being hateful and twisted and misinformed.

Friday and Saturday, I referred to male friends and their husbands in a couple of separate conversations, and each time I did, I got a jolt of joy at being able to say it. I am so pleased that all of the people I love are able to marry the people they love. My friends are my friends because of who they are, not who they love, or what they look like. There will never be too much love to go around, and the sooner we all figure that out, the better off we’ll all be.

My default setting is to try to give people the benefit of the doubt, rather than jumping to the most negative conclusion immediately, but the hateful rhetoric which has created the climate which made Sunday morning’s tragedy possible is far beyond “too much.” The safety of an entire group of people — who have never been as safe as they should have been — has been compromised, and whole swathes of our society are not in the least concerned about that, but are instead turning it into an opportunity to create an unsafe situation for an additional group of people.

I still have too much in my head, and I haven’t figured out quite how to say it all. To my friends in the LGBTQ community: I love  you, and I am so sorry for everything that has been done and said in the name of hate over the past few days. I am not willing to see this attack oversimplified into “Radical Islamist Terrorist vs. America,” when it is so much more specific than that.