As Yet Unsorted

Writing to get where I hope to be.


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Hitting Walls (Of Snow)

 

This week, summed up.

All that snow was beautiful sifting down Friday night and Saturday, but since then, it’s mostly been something to get around, over, or through. It, or the freezing rain just days later, resulted in the driver’s side mirror being torn from my car and deposited in a snowbank a block away. I passed it on my way to pick my car up (I’m not parked at home, because I’m trying to avoid stealing a space cleared by someone else, between piles of snow still parked on my street.) the other evening to run an errand, and felt bad for whomever had lost a mirror, not yet realizing I was that person.

I’ll get the mirror fixed, and be thankful that the damage wasn’t worse, but it came on the heels of the decision to reconnect with a temp agency after having to truly face the fact that I simply don’t have what it takes right now to earn a living as a freelancer. I’m disappointed with myself, but I’m realistic, and unwilling to drive my finances completely into the ground belaboring a point.

That wall of snow appeared as I was returning from my reactivation interview; I was just happy to have put my boots back on, so that wading through the snow to the sidewalk on the other side of the street was a viable option.

The writing won’t disappear, but it’ll be reconfigured, for the moment. I’m not quite ready to go back to a regular full-time job again yet, and once I’ve shored my bank account up a bit again, maybe I’ll give it another shot. Hopefully, all of the walls I’m hitting are made of snow, and they’ll melt eventually, one way or another.

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Balancing Act

Last night, we finally got our first ground-covering snowfall of the season, which, within a couple of hours had turned to a glaze of ice. Since I am in no way sure-footed, it got me started thinking about balance, physical and otherwise.

Physical balance, particularly when it comes to staying upright on ice, I can make accommodations for fairly easily: I wear flat- or low-heeled boots and shoes with good tread, particularly when walkways are not clear and dry. For ice, I wear crampons — I went out and got this year’s pair of Yak-Trax today — and keep my hands out of my pockets when I walk. These measures don’t guarantee that I won’t go down, but they reduce the risk significantly, which is really all that I can ask, given that I will continue to leave my house whether or not walkways are clear and dry.

Other types of balance are, for me at least, a little tougher to compensate for. These include (but are not limited to): thought/action, caution/confidence, screens/real life, ideas/execution. I know all of these could be fixed with time and attention, but the thought of beginning is daunting.

Although I am out of balance at the moment, the fact that I am aware of it, and have identified at least a few areas which could use some work makes me think that I may be able to eventually draw a little closer to a point of equilibrium down the (potentially slippery) road. Wish me luck (and bring on the snow; if it’s gonna be cold, it might as well be pretty)!